Home Is Where the Army Sends Us

Home is where the Army sends us.  Or at least that is the way I am supposed to feel as an Army wife.  We moved in October from our life in Texas where we had spent the last three and a half years building friendships, connections, and careers.  Our small town of Temple, Texas was our first hometown as a couple.  We got engaged there.  We got married there.  We adopted Delilah there.  I graduated with my bachelor's degree there.  We found our first church home as a couple there.  We bought our first house there.  We made our life there.

I know, I know, I know.  My husband is an officer in the United States Army.  What was I thinking making a life somewhere?  But I did, and my heart broke to drive away from that small town.

Over the last two and a half months I have been feeling an intense amount of homesick-ness, something that I have never felt continuously.  Its funny to think of being homesick for a place that I lived in for the shortest amount of time I've been anywhere.  Everyone says that each post in each city is what you make of it.  I guess we made the most out of Fort Hood and Temple, Texas because it kills me to think we don't live there anymore.  But that is just it...WE DON'T LIVE THERE ANYMORE!!!!  Sure we have amazing friends there so we will probably continue to visit the area for many, many years to come, but it's time to make the most out of life in our current post and our current city.

The great thing about leaving my whole life several states away is that I clung to God like no other time in my life.  I journal my prayers, because I'm self conscious about my verbal prayers, so I have a book that I keep with my Bible to write letters to God (prayers), copy down scripture, make notes about my daily devotion, and take notes from church services.  Yesterday I was looking back to November 1st (the day I decided to make a daily effort to pray) and read through some of my first entries since we got to Georgia.  As I read through those prayers I remember how I felt such a struggle to find things to be grateful for (first world problems, am I right?).  I remember how I was yearning for connections and friendships in this new environment.  I remember losing hair stressing about our financial situation going from two incomes to one and growing even more frustrated that I was not finding work as easily as I had expected.  I remember how lost and worthless I felt being a stay-at-home-wife but with no children to raise.

But now, roughly 6 weeks into my re-activated prayer life, I have tons to be thankful for each and every day.  The most amazing part about that?  I have no more than I did on November 1st, but God has changed my perspective on what He has already provided me.  I am making new friends, maintaining old friendships, and cultivating existing relationships into deeper friendships.  Our finances have eased up (and we have paid off some major debts) even though our income has remained the same.  I am still a stay-at-home-wife with no children to raise, but I am seeing this time as a blessing, rather than getting frustrated at the amount of doors to job opportunities (of which I would be amazing at all of them) being slammed in my face.  My self-worth is not tied to a career...although I miss work and look forward to the day it returns to my life.