As promised, this week I am posting my testimony for y'all to know a bit more about me and my walk with Christ.
I was born into a semi-Catholic home. My mother was raised Catholic and it was important to her that my brother and I be raised Catholic as well. Growing up, my father would go to church with us, but he would always say he was more of a spiritual person than a religious one, hence the "semi-Catholic" term. My brother and I went to weekly CCD (Catholic Sunday School, but during the week) when we were younger but church and CCD were both forced activities. We were both baptized as infants and went through First Communion in elementary school. As we got older we started getting into competitive swimming and stopped going to CCD during the week so that we could go to practice. Shortly after that we started swimming in meets most weekends and church fell by the wayside. I was not terribly upset to see it go. I was always bored at church and only went because I had to.
In high school I joined Young Life (a Christian youth organization). While I benefitted greatly from YL, I never fully accepted Christ into my life. YL wasn't just a social club. I learned a lot about the Bible and what it meant to be a follower of Jesus, but I never made that connection. Instead, it just planted the seed in my mind. Even though I wasn't an active Catholic, I felt very tied to that faith, most likely for nothing more than appearances. I struggled to give up the label of being a "Good Catholic Girl", even though I never acted like one.
When I went to college I lost any momentum I had from YL towards accepting God as my personal Lord and Savior. I was living life in the moment. I didn't care about the consequences of my actions, but continued to falsely portray myself as a "Good Catholic Girl". I acted as if I was invincible. I wasn't off the deep end or anything, but I was focusing my life around what parties I would be at from Thursday night to the early hours of Sunday morning.
It wasn't until I met my boyfriend, "A", that the topic of God resurfaced in my life. He comes from a family who is very rooted in their faith. I went to church with them some weekends and was somewhat hit or miss with the sermons. From time to time, "A" would start a conversation about our differing faiths and even though it aggravated me to admit it, I realized just how little I knew about my Catholic roots. Over the next several months "A" and I argued about whether or not I had accepted God. I claimed that I knew Jesus even though I really didn't, but I didn't know that yet. "A" kept asking me to say out loud that Jesus was my personal Lord and Savior, but I couldn't say those words. All I could do is say "he is" or "yes" when "A" would ask me. I would get defensive and change the subject. One day our conversation took a different turn. Somehow we had ended up on how we would raise our hypothetical children. We had agreed that we wouldn't raise our hypothetical children in either faith, Baptist (as he was raised) or Catholic (like I was). We decided on "non-denominational Christian".
Seeing how I had little to no experience in a Christian church, I decided to do a little google magic and check one out. I found one who's web site appealed to me and I quickly sent it to "A" for reassurance. He then forwarded it to his parents and all of us agreed it would be a church worth looking into. To be honest, I was going because their website was cool, but I trusted "A" and his parents' opinions on the religious aspect. I visited the church with his parents at the end of August of 2010. I was in love with it.
At the end of the sermon, the pastor offered an invitation for people to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. I felt something pulling at me to walk down to the front of the church and accept Him. However, part of me was cautious. I wanted to make sure I wasn't feeling pressured into it because "A's" parents were there or because it was new. I left that week at church determined to come back.
The next weekend I was out of town so it took me two weeks to make it back to church. That Sunday morning (September 12, 2010) I really did not feel like going. I was tired and even though I was already out of bed, I decided to stay home. A few minutes later I found myself getting dressed for church without having made the conscious decision to go. I went and found myself watching as 6 adults were baptized into the kingdom of God. The pastor talked about each one briefly before they were "dunked" as he says. I connected with one woman who had a story similar to mine. Her parents were there to witness her baptism and I leaned over to them and said "you must be so proud, that is truly amazing." I was saying them as if I were a person who had already accepted Christ, which simply wasn't true. Again at the end of the sermon, the pastor offered an invitation for people to come forward and accept Christ. I clung to the back of the seat in front of me like my life depended on it. Then all of a sudden, I was halfway down the aisle to the pastor. It didn't matter that I had decided not to go forward, God decided for me. He was not willing to let me go home wondering "what if" as I had the time before. That day I was one of 10 people who gave their lives to Christ. The Lord was working in that room that day, as I feel he is every week. He wasn't willing to let me or the other 9 people slip by. Immediately when I left church I called "A" and for the first time in my life I could tell him "I have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior." I wanted to tell everyone. I would have screamed it from the rooftops if I could have.
Since that day, I have become a regular at my church. My life has changed tremendously. When I became a Christian my life did not turn my problems to rainbows and butterflies, but I now know that I am not in them alone. Over the last year and a half since I became a Christian I have struggled with lots of things, but every time the Lord has pulled me through each instance. He found me a home when I was days from homelessness, He provided me a vision when I had none, and He has given me the thirst for knowledge of the Bible. Even though I am very young in my faith, the Lord has blessed me with the desire to learn and to follow His word. He has also called me to start this Bible study and has placed people in my life who will help me through this journey.
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